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I’ve heard it said, mostly by men I know that if they became infirmed, they “blow their brains out.” Therefore, I was especially intrigued when reading Gerotranscendence: A Developmental Theory of Positive Aging by Lars Tornstam and came upon the following statement, “White, western, middle-class, middle-life society has, since the Reformation, been characterized by an overwhelmingly strong performance orientation. Productivity, effectiveness and independence are prestige words.”
We often hear about how the elderly are undermined in the society. As I think about that statement above, it has more to do with the absence of these characteristics than actual aging.
It’s not that I think there is anything wrong with being productive, effective and independent. In fact, most of my work and writing is focused on helping people make the most of those attributes in retirement.
I’m wondering if we can value those qualities and still appreciate the beauty that lies in being more frail, slower and feeble? As I’ve been the caretaker for my mom, who has dementia, I’ve grown a lot in how I view people who are less than ‘perfect.’
When I was younger, like many, I was uncomfortable around people with disabilities and the elderly. With time, I’ve learned to be more accepting. Instead of brushing these people aside, I’m more willing to engage and interact.
As the 77 million baby boomers approach retirement years and earnestly start the aging process, I wander how our views and those of society will change. We won’t go quietly into the night, but can we find grace and dignity when we’re not as powerful as were.
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